Showing posts with label IELTS Task 2. Show all posts
Showing posts with label IELTS Task 2. Show all posts

Friday, 11 March 2016

losing our traditions, IELTS TASK 2, band 6.5/7

The advent of technology has revolutionized many aspects of our life not least including our traditions. Many people believe that we are losing our traditions to technology. Contrarily On the contrary, I believe that with the right approach, technology can be used to for retaining our traditions.

There are a lot of traditions that long have been forgotten including in our traditional cuisine, costumes, crafts and values. I believe that younger generations seem to ignore these traditions because they are not well introduced with these values. Thus, by using the internet for instance these values can be reintroduced and be promoted religiously on a large scale. New generations can learn effectively about our tradition if more information about them are is published online. More afford efforts should be carried out to trace wherever the local tradition is still being practiced and present them out to the world via this technology by uploading pictures, blogs, videos etc. on websites such as the Youtube, Facebook, Twitter etc.

Besides that, we can also use technology to enhance our traditional products. For instance, with the aid of technology certain traditional costumes, crafts, cuisines can be massively produced. These traditional items can be recreated and reproduced with modern sophisticated machines with simply efficiently and with a minimum of fuss. This will attract more people to learn and love traditional stuffs.

Moreover, by incorporating traditional values with technology we can enhance our creativity as varieties of new products can then be produced. For example, many new fashion designs are integrated with traditional values like in Malaysia, fashion designers use ‘batik’, a traditional malay cloth in their design. This is somehow a way of retaining tradition in modern style.
By and large, I believe that traditional values will still be appreciated if we can use technology to take them to another level.



            Evaluation Report
Word count
275
Comments
All the parts of the task have been covered. The ideas are presented coherently. Paragraphing of the essay is fine. The range of vocabulary is adequate for the requirements of the task response. There are a few errors in word choice and grammar but overall, the response is still easy enough to understand.
Estimated Band Score
 6.5 or 7.0
 Suggestions
1.      Revise grammar and improve sentence structures.
2.      Learn more vocabulary and improve choice of words.
3.      Always proofread the task response after finishing it.

obesity among children, IELTS TASK 2, band 6.5

The rise in obesity among children is getting worse year by year. Some people believe that government is responsible for this matter, while many blame it on parents. I believe that parents should play a major role in preventing their children from getting overweight.

Looking at modern parenting style these days explains much quite well why this is happening. Children these days are allowed to consume too much much more fast food than we did in the past. Fast food offers contains a lot of sugar, preservatives, chemical based flavors, fat and other harmful ingredients that are very hard to be digested which in turns are and get stored as fat.  Thus, parents should be more conscious of what they feed their children with, and should also encourage them to take on a balanced diet even when they are away from home. 

What is more, due to an ever-busier lifestyle, parents have less time to spend with their children. As a result, children are introduced to playing gadget electronic gadgets to occupy them, even babies and toddlers are not excluded. Consequently, these little fellows tend to sit whole days staring at their gadgets with less without physical and outdoor activities. An even more insidious threat trend is that they tend to take consume junk food while playing with their devices.
Government The government on the other hand has less power to control what these children eat and to encourage them to play and exercise. The least government it can do is to organize a healthy lifestyle campaign which can only be succeeded with parents’ support.

All in all, there areis  nothing much that government can do to encourage children to live healthily. It is all up to parents how to educate their children to be healthier persons.




            Evaluation Report
Word count
273
Comments
All the parts of the task have been covered. The ideas are presented coherently. Paragraphing of the essay is fine. The range of vocabulary is adequate for the requirements of the task response. There are a few errors in word choice and grammar but overall, the response is still easy enough to understand.
Estimated Band Score
6.5
 Suggestions
1.      Revise grammar and improve sentence structures.
2.      Learn more vocabulary and improve choice of words.
3.      Always proofread the task response after finishing it.
4.      Keep practicing to improve your performance.

Thursday, 10 March 2016

contract employment, IELTS TASK 2, band 6.5

It is really hard to find a permanent job these days that and many have no choice but to work on a short-term contract. I believe that the disadvantages of contract employment outweigh its advantages

Although so, it cannot be denied that contract employment does have some benefits for individuals in the case. The fact that the job is expected to end after a temporary period gives the individuals some freedom in life. Some people are keen to work for a year, save some money and go travel for another the next year. Some contract jobs offer huge payouts enabling people with such passion to live as a traveler and sign the deal readily.

However, this leads to a sense of being lived “here and now’ a nomad rather than to building a stable future. Signing a contract one after another means that they always have regularly spend a lot of time to look for a new job. There is no guarantee that they will continuously have a next job find new jobs, thus for sometimes occasionally in between they are jobless and that may make one depressed and lose self-confidence. Due to feeling of insecurity about incomes, some people cannot holding get loans to owning properties like houses and cars, which are very important for their future. However, some have no choice but to get loans to own car for example, which can be very burdening once they are out of jobs.

By and large, permanent jobs help individuals to plan and build for a stable future. Contract employment on the opposite makes people have a hard time to decide for their next move, which makes it difficult to plan for better future.



            Evaluation Report
Word count
269
Comments
All the parts of the task have been covered relevantly. The ideas are presented coherently at most places. Paragraphing of the essay is fine. The range of vocabulary is sufficient. However, errors related to grammar and word choice are distracting at times. Overall, the essay meets the approval.

Estimated Band Score
6.5
 Suggestions
1.      Revise grammar and improve sentence structures.
2.      Learn more vocabulary and improve choice of words.
3.      Always proofread the task response after finishing it.
4.      Keep practicing to improve your performance.

free internet access, IELTS TASK 2, Band 6.5

The internet has become vital to everyone in this world, though, some believe that free internet access should not be allowed and instead they require advise a subscription fee for the access just like any other services.

Personally, I believe that free internet access should be given worldwide so that everyone can enjoy its great advantages. Restricting internet access means that only those who are affluent can afford the subscription and deny thousands of opportunities to those who are not. For instance, we need the internet to look and apply for jobs, scholarships and places in higher education and most important to raise funds for those who need. Given that, then those who cannot afford the internet subscription could would not have the chance to compete with the rest of the world.

Moreover, providing internet access to everyone also means that everyone has the chance to grasp all the knowledge and information offer available on the internet. This contributes to greater education, encouraging intellectual development and creativity of individuals.  For instance, many talented individuals are recognized through the internet as they publish their works online and if they are lucky good enough the works get viral, encouraging more people to follow the suit.This is virtually a free exercise so anyone from any corner of the world can showcase his prowess

However, unlimited access to the internet also has a major drawbacks on social development. Although we can learn many thing on the internet but it also comes with great negative influences. If minors for instance surf the internet without supervision, they might accidently explore on violent and porn websites. Consequently, these fine minds turns could turn into vicious and problematic individuals.

By and large, I believe that free internet access gives equal chance for to everyone to compete in this modern world. Tthough, unlimited internet access may influence young minds to be troublemakers, producing ruined generations but this can be minimized through parental supervision.



            Evaluation Report
Word count
290
Comments
All the parts of the task have been covered. The ideas are presented coherently.  Paragraphing of the essay is fine. The range of vocabulary is good. Even though there are many errors in grammar and sentence structures, they don’t make the meaning much harder to understand. However, some ideas can be developed further. Overall, the essay can be further improved.
Estimated Band Score
6.5
 Suggestions
1.      Revise grammar and improve sentence structures.
2.      Learn more vocabulary and improve choice of words.
3.      Read sample essays from our website.
4.      Avoid writing more than 280 words. This will help in saving time and reducing mistakes.
5.      Always proofread the task response after finishing it.
6.      Keep practicing to improve your performance.

Sunday, 6 March 2016

Human limit, IELTS TASK 2, band 6.5 or 7

The advent of science has allowed tremendous breakthroughs to be achieved which have benefited the entire human kind. Despite that, it still seems insufficient that many people are still trying to achieve other things that are beyond our comprehensive comprehension. I believe that there is always limit for everything including human capabilities and knowledge that we should not cross that of as the consequences can be unbearable.

I think, the most controversial issue that human try to grasp is cloning. It is just inhumane trying to be god by creating living beings. The first cloned sheep, Dolly for instance took years before it was succeeded achieved, and in between many defected sheep were produced and their fate is fairly unknown. Even Dolly had to suffer to some extend extent as she was infertile and lived quite a short life span. Imagine if human cloning is a success, than then many ‘humans’ would be produced with no status, no parents, and no family institution and not least how most important, what about the defected beings that would have to be ceased killed. This could be a huge disaster.

What is more, current findings have produced enormous genetic many genetically modified organisms including in our food products. Even though they claim that these products are proven beneficial as the inserted genes give better traits of the for a good harvest but still the long term effects are still unclear. Some people have claimed that consuming GM products has caused allergic reactions and some have experienced other diseases including cancer.

Based on these reasons, I believe that we should not interfere with nature as the aftermath could be catastrophe. This does not mean that we should not try to understand or develop anything new, it simply means we should not attempt to go too far.


            Evaluation Report
Word count
288
Comments
All the parts of the task have been covered relevantly. The ideas are presented coherently. Paragraphing of the essay is fine. The range of vocabulary is sufficient. However, errors related to grammar and word choice are distracting at times. Overall, the essay meets the approval.
Estimated Band Score
 6.5 or 7.0
 Suggestions
1.      Revise grammar and improve sentence structures.
2.      Be careful of spelling mistakes.
3.      Learn more vocabulary and improve choice of words.
4.      Always proofread the task response after finishing it.
Writing Correction Service - to order a correction click here

Friday, 4 March 2016

Bad News, IELTS TASK 2, Band 6.5 or 7

The advent of technology has allowed us to reach the other parts of the world easily, including grasping the latest news right almost instantly. Some people believe the abundance of bad news seems imbalanced and gives diversion a distorted view of the real world and this may have a poor effect on the society.

I believe that those bad news that have been the bad news needs to be  delivered to give real pictures of what have really happened and are not entirely fake. I also believe these horrible news are good for the society as people can learn some lessons from what have happened happens.

First of all, given reading about those terrible events that have been reported, people may start to gain awareness, making them realize that the world is not as beautiful as they have perceived. Such awareness will drive a parent to be more motivated to educate their family so that they would not get involved in any of those troubles reported. Parents will be aware that they are growing rearing their children in a cruel world with a lot of negative influences. Thus, responsibly a parent will nourish their kids with love and attention hoping that their kids will grow as a better generation for the future.

Moreover, with such news, the governments, non-governments and other organizations will also notice the problems and issues that are happening and need to be addressed. This will trigger responsible bodies to take an action to tackle those issues. Without highlighting the real troubles, everyone will still think that everything is perfectly fine and no one will do anything to prevent the crimes or to address the issues.

By and large, I believe that the bad news make everyone aware of troubles around them and thus being make them more responsible towards their surroundings.



            Evaluation Report
Word count
289
Comments
All the parts of the task have been covered. The ideas are presented coherently. Paragraphing of the essay is fine. The range of vocabulary is adequate for the requirements of the task response. There are a few errors in word choice and grammar but overall, the response is still easy enough to understand.
Estimated Band Score
 6.5 or 7.0
 Suggestions
1.      Revise grammar and improve sentence structures.
2.      Learn more vocabulary and improve choice of words.
3.      Always proofread the task response after finishing it.
Writing Correction Service - to order a correction click here

Thursday, 3 March 2016

Deterioration of communication skills, IELTS Task 2, Band 6.5




The advent of technology has shaped much of our communication today. The invention of various media of communication such as the internet and smart phone is believed to eventually kill the communication skills of individuals. I believe that in-person communication is very essential that and it could never be ceased by other methods.

Despite that, it cannot be denied that family relationship and communication has have been much damaged by this media, as children prefer to reach their friends remotely and reduce that of their parents. Pathetically, parents too tend to ignore their children and instead stare on at their phone’s screen socializing. It is obvious that people these days are too engaged to socialize in social media that they sometimes forget to socialize in person, to talk and to have a deep and meaningful face-to-face conversation with their family or people around them.

No matter how ruined the bonding and communication among people caused by these technologies, I still believe it still has not really affected the face-to-face communication skills. People use these advanced tools to reach those that who far in distance, but they still verbally communicate with people around them. As, people still constantly communicate in person thus this skill shall not be degraded will not degrade. Moreover, people feel more comfortable to talk face-to-face to discuss their problems and issues or simply to pour their hearts to each other and they feel uneasy to do that via communication tools.

In conclusion, no matter how advanced is our communication tools are , in-person conversational method is always the best to discuss and deliver points clearly especially in critical time when we need someone to lend their shoulders which could never be mimicked via other methods.



            Evaluation Report
Word count
286
Comments
The candidate has presented relevant arguments. The main ideas are organized well and explained coherently. Paragraphing of the essay is fine. However, there are mistakes related to grammar and sentence structures. In addition, there are instances where points could have been explained more clearly. Overall, the essay can be improved further.
Estimated Band Score
6.5
 Suggestions
1.      Pay more attention to grammar and improve sentences.
2.      Always proofread the task response after finishing it.
3.      Keep practicing to improve your performance.

Thursday, 25 February 2016

cultural understanding, IELTS TASK 2, band 6.5


Many people believe that global crisis occurs due to lack of cultural understanding. However, there are several measures that can be taken to gain better cultural comprehension among people worldwide.

I believe that, the most significant way to bridge the gap of conception among us is via tourism. Instead of travelling for fun and leisure, people around the world should be encouraged to also travel to learn about the host countries’ cultures, practices and believes beliefs and at the same time sharing  share theirs with the locals. Exchanging such knowledge will definitely increase communication and build better relationship among us, and thus bringing better impression about each other.

More than that, the host countries should also provide expert tour guides that who can really explain and describe about the unique values that the locals hold. A solid  Solid information about the locals like a book or simply a nice pamphlet briefly describing about the locals’ customs will also help the tourist to digest the info information better. Some cultural performances should attract more tourists to come and enlighten them with some differences that the locals hold.

Other than that, student exchange programs may also alleviate help in gaining better understanding. For instance, if more students exchange globally for at least one month, then this will give better chance for more students to go abroad and mingle with others from different parts of the world. This will then educate more people worldwide about each other, spreading the knowledge and soon more people will have their wrong perspectives enlighten develop a greater tolerance towards others from different backgrounds.


All in all, all these measures might increase our understanding about each other and hoping that these will reduce our misconception about other cultures, believes  beliefs and customs. 



            Evaluation Report
Word count
276
Comments
All parts of the task are covered. The ideas have been presented coherently; it is evident that the writer progresses from one idea to another. Paragraphing of the essay is fine. The range of vocabulary is sufficient here. However, there are several errors in grammar and word choice. Overall, the essay can be improved further.
Estimated Band Score
 6.5
 Suggestions
1.      Pay more attention to grammar.
2.      Improve choice of words.
3.      Always proofread the task response after finishing it.
4.      Keep practicing to improve your performance.
Writing Correction Service - to order a correction click here