should children quit school? IELTS essay task 2,mistakes spotted

Many children are forced to stay at school and study subjects that will be of little value of to them in the future. These children may disrupt the education of the majority and should be allowed to leave school early to find themselves a job.

What are your view?

Some children with little interest in school studies tend to be troublemakers and disturb other students. Due to this disruption Therefore, some have suggested that these children should quit school and earn their own living.

From my point of view, this suggestion is rather ridiculous as it is like getting rid of  a broken machine and hoping it to automatically fix itself. Children with such attitude need attention and love, asking them to give up education is like we are giving them up. Consequently, they will rebel this unfair punishment treatment and do more damage than we can ever imagine. Looking for love and attention they might end up in joining street gangs and getting involved in critical social problems like drug, prostitution and crime. Moreover, asking children to find themselves a job just not making makes any sense. There is no suitable job for people of such a young age, and this will only lead  make them frustrated as they will be unable to earn anything.

Instead of leaving school, they should be provided with a developing program to promote their inner selves. These kids should be nourished with love and care, thus guiding them to discover their interest that suits any prospective future jobs and careers. They need guidance to face the world later on but not during their childhood.What is more, parents should give their children full support, love and care, which are very essential to make them feel secured and loved and thus makingthey would make less trouble in school.

All in all, asking children to quit school is not a solution but just making them psychologically depressed and leads to more problems. All they need is guidance on how to embrace the future in the coming few years.   

	Evaluation Report
Word count	278
Comments	All parts of the task are covered. The ideas have been presented coherently; it is evident that the writer progresses from one idea to another. Paragraphing is fine. However, there are several errors pertaining to grammar. Overall, the essay can be improved further.
Estimated Band Score	6.5
Suggestions	1.      Pay more attention to grammar. 2.      Always proofread the task response after finishing it. 3.      Keep practicing to improve your performance.
Helpful links	Writing Correction Service - to order a correction click here IELTS preparation e-books - download a free trial here Sample essays, letters and reports - click here Learn vocabulary from this link - http://www.scribd.com/doc/244244/Check-your-Vocabulary-for-IELTS

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greenhouse diagram- IELTS task 1,band 7.5

The greenhouse also known as glasshouse is used to nurture plants in which it allows to control variables to give a better environment for plant growth including constant temperature. This diagram demonstrates how the greenhouse works in term of circulating constant heat. As can be seen the house is designed to trap the heat from the solar energy.

Initially, the green house is left exposed to the sun light. The heat and light from the sun move straight to the green house floor and reflect upward the house. The light properties that moves in straight line is applied in this process, in which the house is made of glass allowed which allows the sun light to directly pass through it but cannot get out from it.  As it purpose, the heat is now trapped inside the house  it is unable to escape. As a result, the trapped heat circulates around the house and heating it up gives   heats up giving a constant temperature needed.

All in all, the green house is designed using a glass to allow the sun light in but[ieltsblog4]   to enter and block it out to heat up the house constantly.

	Evaluation Report
Word count	184
Comments	All the requirements of the task have been covered fairly well. The key features have been identified and illustrated in a logical way. The paragraphing has been handled appropriately. Overall, the control of grammar and punctuation is good, with only a few errors made.
Estimated Band Score	7.5
Suggestions	1.      Keep practicing in the same manner. 2.      Always proofread the task response after finishing it.
Helpful links	Writing Correction Service - to order a correction click here IELTS preparation e-books - download a free trial here Sample essays, letters and reports - click here Learn vocabulary from this link - http://www.scribd.com/doc/244244/Check-your-Vocabulary-for-IELTS

the development of aeroplanes/diagram-IELTS task 1,band 7.5

The diagrams represent the development stages of airplane since the first engine flight, Wright Flyer in 1903 was introduced till the Airbus A380 made in 2004. Apparently, over the centuries, planes were designed to carry more passengers.

The first plane, Wright Flyer had only 6 m length, of which only one pilot can fit in it. Later on in 1935, the Doughlas DC-3 was designed which was  4 times the length of Wright Flyer made it of 20 m length. This model now had a capacity to carry passengers of maximum 3 crews and 28 passengers.

Then in 2004, AirBus A380 was made, the length of which is much longer of about three times that of the second one. The plane passenger capacity also significantly increased to maximum 555 passengers.

Other point to notice is the plane speed. The first one could only fly about 16km/h and the speed increased to 347 km/h for the second one and ultimately to 1050  km/h in the latest version.

As can be seen, over the period planes have much revolved in term of size, passenger capacity and speed.

	Evaluation Report
Word count	179
Comments	The candidate has organized and analyzed the diagrams well. The key features have been identified and illustrated in a logical way. The paragraphing has been handled appropriately. Overall, the control of grammar and punctuation is good, with only a few errors made.
Estimated Band Score	7.5
Suggestions	1.      Keep practicing in the same manner. 2.      Always proofread the task response after finishing it.
Helpful links	Writing Correction Service - to order a correction click here IELTS preparation e-books - download a free trial here Sample essays, letters and reports - click here Learn vocabulary from this link - http://www.scribd.com/doc/244244/Check-your-Vocabulary-for-IELTS

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the breakthroughs in medical science- IELTS task 2, mistakes spotted

The advances of in medical science have saved thousands and more of lives. The vast new discoveries related to health care has have put the world in much better shape than it would be was in the past two centuries. This essay will discuss the breakthrough of whether breakthroughs in medical science which has  have contributed most on to social development.

In the past, when epidemic diseases such as chicken pox, cholera and yellow fever attacked and contiguously spread around the world, they almost collapsinged the whole nation. Hardly anything notable can be executed let it be technological, machinery, political or social development as people were too busy treating the diseases or at least isolating themselves from getting the diseases or transferring ones. The economic growth were devastated  was greatly affected by the pandemic diseases and the world just became unproductive and volatile.

However,  advances in medical science development has have significantly revolutionized the scenario. The discovery of cures and treatments for previous and new diseases, epidemic, fatal and cancer like conditions allow people to no longer live in fear of getting severe diseases. For instance, the introduction of vaccination entitles one to fight disease before it could collapsing affect the host. Principally, the vaccines work by introducing the hosts with weaken pathogens that cause diseases and triggering the hosts’ immune system to be prepared with the right mechanism to fight the real one better.

The contribution advancement of medical science allows better health to be achieved by all people around the world, which only then allows better development of other aspects including industrial revolution. Health is definitely essential for humans to work and contribute efficiently and thus develop better nation.

In conclusion, humans have developed progressively into modern and sophisticated society but it is only possible by means of medical science intervention.

	Evaluation Report
Word count	288
Comments	All parts of the task are covered. The ideas have been presented relevantly and explained coherently. Paragraphing of the essay is fine. However, there are several errors in grammar and word choice. Overall, the essay can be improved further.
Estimated Band Score	6.5
Suggestions	1.      Pay more attention to grammar. 2.      Improve choice of words. 3.      Always proofread the task response after finishing it. 4.      Keep practicing to improve your performance.
Helpful links	Writing Correction Service - to order a correction click here IELTS preparation e-books - download a free trial here Sample essays, letters and reports - click here Learn vocabulary from this link - http://www.scribd.com/doc/244244/Check-your-Vocabulary-for-IELTS

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shopping is dangerous- IELTS task 2, mistakes spotted

Some people can be very obsessed with shopping. They shop just to feed their sense of satisfaction and happiness. This essay will address how shopping can be dangerous by luring one to become self-centered and thoughtless when it comes to money.

However On one side, wise shoppers are completely under control; they know their limits and prioritize their needs and desires accordingly.  This is proven by the fact that many people are still able to settle their bills every month without miss and they spend fairly enough on their family matters. They are very good in  at managing their finances enabling them to plan for a better future.

On the opposite, shopaholics are people who selfishly spend their money unnecessarily and they also irresponsibly neglect the priority of their needs. Instead of settling their bills or fulfilling their children’s need, they tend to spend it over other insignificant things like a fancy kitchen cabinet or  a silver necklace. Their desire always wins their decision, which turns them into self-centered persons who care about nothing but themselves.

What is more, with the advent of credit cards, many consumers have thoughtlessly starting collecting more and more debts in their life. As a consequenc and many have been declared bankrupt due to failure of settling their own overdrawn.  There is little doubt that these shoppers do think about planning for their future as they already spoil it with bulk of debts. They will then struggle in the future just to settle what their past has left carried forward.

All in all, most of the evidence points to the fact that indeed shopping is truly dangerous. It drives them people crazy turning them into monsters who spend recklessly just to fulfill their insatiable desire.

	Evaluation Report
Word count	277
Comments	All the parts of the task have been covered. Paragraphing of the essay is fine. The range of vocabulary is sufficient. However, some ideas are not highly convincing and errors related to grammar and word choice are distracting at times. In addition, there are instances where sentences could be written in a better way. Overall, the essay can be improved further.
Estimated Band Score	6.5
Suggestions	1.        Revise grammar and improve sentence structures. 2.        Learn more vocabulary and improve choice of words. 3.        Always proofread the task response after finishing it. 4.        Keep practicing to improve your performance.
Helpful links	Writing Correction Service - to order a correction click here IELTS preparation e-books - download a free trial here Sample essays, letters and reports - click here Learn vocabulary from this link - http://www.scribd.com/doc/244244/Check-your-Vocabulary-for-IELTS

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prolonging retirement period- IELTS task 2

Living in modern age, it seems like a trend that people would prolong their retirement age. This essay will discuss the pros and cons of working beyond the retirement age.

Working past the retirement period is undeniable  undeniably can give some benefits to the individuals of in the case. First of all, it allows them to establish firm daily routines which are very important to make them feel alive and organized. The fact that, they have been working for such a long time might crack them if the routines suddenly have got to change. Thus, allowing them to work longer gives them some time for adjusting to the changes. Secondly, prolonging retirement period also entitles ones a chance to have a social life. This is rather important as staying home and not being at work might get ones  make one depressed, bored and loss of their lose self-confidence in a sense of being useful and productive.

Although, the advantages seem well supporting the decision to prolong retirement age, but this is outweighed by the disadvantages. It cannot be denied that as people are getting older, they will eventually loss lose their physical and intellectual capabilities. This might affect the productivity of the company to push their limits and excel in performance. Other point to consider is that, many younger people are currently jobless which suggests that their places are taken by those working beyond their retirement edge. Last but not least, early retirement gives ones more times to pursue their dreams, maybe complete their bucket lists while they are physically fit to cross off the lists.

All in all, prolonging retirement has shown more negative aspects than the positive ones. Ones should retire when their time has come, thus allowing them to pursue their side dreams and give the chance for the youngsters to continue their jobs.

	Evaluation Report
Word count	300
Comments	The candidate’s effort to accomplish the task response is visible. The information is presented coherently; it is evident that the writer progresses from one idea to another. However, there are some errors in word choice and grammar. Overall, the essay can be improved further.
Estimated Band Score	6.5 or 7.0
Suggestions	1.      Revise grammar. 2.      Learn more vocabulary and improve choice of words. 3.      Read sample essays from our website. 4.      Always proofread the task response after finishing it. 5.      Keep practicing to improve your performance.
Helpful links	Writing Correction Service - to order a correction click here IELTS preparation e-books - download a free trial here Sample essays, letters and reports - click here Learn vocabulary from this link - http://www.scribd.com/doc/244244/Check-your-Vocabulary-for-IELTS

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