Many children are forced to stay at
school and study subjects that will be of little value of to them in the
future. These children may disrupt the education of the majority and should be
allowed to leave school early to find themselves a job.
What are your view?
Some
children with little interest in school studies tend to be troublemakers and disturb
other students. Due to this disruption Therefore, some have suggested that these
children should quit school and earn their own living.
From my
point of view, this suggestion is rather ridiculous as it is like getting rid
of a broken machine and hoping it to automatically fix itself.
Children with such attitude need attention and love, asking them to give up
education is like we are giving them up. Consequently,
they will rebel this unfair punishment treatment and do more damage than we can ever
imagine. Looking for love and attention they might end up in joining street gangs and getting involved in critical social
problems like drug, prostitution and crime. Moreover, asking children to find
themselves a job just not making makes any sense. There is no suitable job
for people of such a young age, and this will only lead make them frustrated as they will be unable to earn anything.
Instead of
leaving school, they should be provided with a developing program to promote
their inner selves. These kids should be nourished with love and care, thus
guiding them to discover their interest that suits any prospective future jobs
and careers. They need guidance to face the world later on but not during their
childhood.What is
more, parents should give their children full support, love and care, which are
very essential to make them feel secured and loved and thus makingthey would make less trouble in school.
All in all,
asking children to quit school is not a solution but just making them
psychologically depressed and leads to more problems. All they need is guidance
on how to embrace the future in the coming few years.
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Evaluation
Report
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Word count
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278
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Comments
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All
parts of the task are covered. The ideas have been presented coherently; it
is evident that the writer progresses from one idea to another. Paragraphing
is fine. However, there are several errors pertaining to grammar. Overall,
the essay can be improved further.
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Estimated Band Score
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6.5
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Suggestions
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1. Pay
more attention to grammar.
2. Always
proofread the task response after finishing it.
3. Keep
practicing to improve your performance.
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Helpful links
|
Writing Correction Service - to order a
correction click here
IELTS preparation e-books - download a free trial here
Sample essays, letters and reports - click here
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