Women these days are expected to juggle many more roles than what they can enroll, whereas centuries ago they were not
hoped for anything but merely reckoned to be housewives.
Looking back at 100 years ago, women were not given a fair
treatment in term of careers or things they can could do. Men on the
other hand, had dominated all the high class careers like doctor, politician,
scientist and even writer. Whereas In fact, women in the past were not seen as
important beings, meaning that their contributions were doubted and less
appreciated. For instance, in the prior modelling of DNA structure, Rosalind
Franklin was not credited until in recent years. Even a decade ago, Joanne
Rowling, the famous author of Harry Potter had to use manly
sound a manly sounding pen-name
which is J.K Rowling just to ensure her books got the same attention as the men
authors did.
However, that scenes have past passed now, women these
days are no longer considered as second class beings who can only serve their
family but also the world. All careers and jobs can now be enrolled by both
genders without any inequalities. Although so, the capability of women to excel
in job world and the changes of their roles in society seem to be a heavy load
to them. For instance, wives these days not only have to serve their family but
also need to feed them just like the husbands do. Some men seem to let the
ladies taking over their responsibilities and are not urged to share their wife’ s. As a result, the wives have to struggle their whole life just
to sustain the family life.
By and large, I believe although women have the
opportunities to employ good careers these days but it seems like a heavy
burden that they now have more tasks to perform than that of the women in the
past.
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Evaluation
Report
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Word count
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309
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Comments
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The candidate's position is clear
throughout the essay. There is a logical organisation of information; it is
evident that s/he progresses from one idea to another. The range of
vocabulary is wide enough for him/her to show some flexibility and accuracy
of expression. Overall, the control of grammar and punctuation is good, with
only a few errors made.
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Estimated Band Score
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7.0
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Suggestions
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1. Revise
grammar and improve sentence structures.
2. Learn more vocabulary and improve
choice of words.
3. Avoid
writing more than 280 words. This will help in saving time and reducing
mistakes.
4. Always
proofread the task response after finishing it.
5. Keep
practicing to improve your performance.
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Helpful links
|
Writing Correction Service - to order a
correction click here
IELTS preparation e-books - download a free trial here
Sample essays, letters and reports - click here
|
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