Monday 22 February 2016

prolonging retirement period- IELTS task 2




Living in modern age, it seems like a trend that people would prolong their retirement age. This essay will discuss the pros and cons of working beyond the retirement age.

Working past the retirement period is undeniable  undeniably can give some benefits to the individuals of in the case. First of all, it allows them to establish firm daily routines which are very important to make them feel alive and organized. The fact that, they have been working for such a long time might crack them if the routines suddenly have got to change. Thus, allowing them to work longer gives them some time for adjusting to the changes. Secondly, prolonging retirement period also entitles ones a chance to have a social life. This is rather important as staying home and not being at work might get ones  make one depressed, bored and loss of their lose self-confidence in a sense of being useful and productive.

Although, the advantages seem well supporting the decision to prolong retirement age, but this is outweighed by the disadvantages. It cannot be denied that as people are getting older, they will eventually loss lose their physical and intellectual capabilities. This might affect the productivity of the company to push their limits and excel in performance. Other point to consider is that, many younger people are currently jobless which suggests that their places are taken by those working beyond their retirement edge. Last but not least, early retirement gives ones more times to pursue their dreams, maybe complete their bucket lists while they are physically fit to cross off the lists.

All in all, prolonging retirement has shown more negative aspects than the positive ones. Ones should retire when their time has come, thus allowing them to pursue their side dreams and give the chance for the youngsters to continue their jobs.



            Evaluation Report
Word count
300
Comments
The candidate’s effort to accomplish the task response is visible. The information is presented coherently; it is evident that the writer progresses from one idea to another. However, there are some errors in word choice and grammar. Overall, the essay can be improved further.
Estimated Band Score
 6.5 or 7.0
 Suggestions
1.      Revise grammar.
2.      Learn more vocabulary and improve choice of words.
3.      Read sample essays from our website.
4.      Always proofread the task response after finishing it.
5.      Keep practicing to improve your performance.
Helpful links
Writing Correction Service - to order a correction click here
IELTS preparation e-books - download a free trial here
Sample essays, letters and reports - click here







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