The
top sport celebrities like Tiger Wood, Nicole David and so many others to count
are paid with lots of cash and pampered with luxurious life styles, special
cares and treatments not only by their sponsors but also by societies. Many
contend that, top sport persons should not get
treated in such a way as sport is saidmeant only merely for fun. I strongly view the opposite have the opposite view because I truly believe that
sport contributes more than what we can actually perceive.
It
cannot be denied that, other jobs and careers seem do
to not get the same attention as the sport
celebrities do. For instance, teachers, social workers and even doctors and
lecturers do not get paid as much as the sport celebrities do, despite of their massive
contribution to social development. Although so,
considering than we should also consider that the sport career span is
relatively shorter than other important jobs signifies the huge paid this justifies
the huge payouts to sportsmen.
More
than that, it is through
sport that people around the world seems to get united. Somehow, the whole
world just give a break for loves the football world cup and Olympic events.
People around the world could share similar passion and join the crowd to
support their favorite teams, consequently has
brought bringing some
peace and at least release a bit of world tensions of war,
poverty and all other unsolved issues.
More
importantly, it is the top sport celebrities’
determination and hard work that are well paid off that has
inspired many others to follow their suit. They are indeed a good role models
for youngsters to work hard and strive in life.
To
sum up, sport persons are illegible for a huge paid pay due to their vast contributions even if it is unseen sometimes not visible to the world.
|
|
Evaluation
Report
|
Word count
|
282
|
Comments
|
All the parts of the task have been
covered. Paragraphing of the essay is fine. Even though there are many errors
in grammar, word choice and sentence structures, they don’t make the meaning
much harder to understand. Overall,
the essay needs further improvement.
|
Estimated Band Score
|
6.0 or 6.5
|
Suggestions
|
1. Revise
grammar and improve sentence structures.
2. Be
careful of spelling mistakes.
3. Learn more vocabulary and improve
choice of words.
4. Always
proofread the task response after finishing it.
5. Keep
practicing to improve your performance.
|
Helpful links
|
Writing Correction Service - to order a
correction click here
IELTS preparation e-books - download a free trial here
Sample essays, letters and reports - click here
|
No comments:
Post a Comment