being successful, IELTS TASK 2

The desire for higher status or greater wealth than others is what motivates most people to succeed in the world. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Many famous people with high status and great wealth inspired millions of others to follow their suit. People define successful success as being able to achieve the same; power and money. I strongly disagree as for me  being successful simply means to live life to the fullest with your loved one ones.

To begin with, the desire to achieve such ambitious dream could lead ones to get disappointed. To be realistic, in these this competitive world, it seems almost impossible to always be on the top. The dream can be wonderful but the reality is harsh and tough. People should come to realization that money and power are not everything as chasing these two will consumed them a lot to compete  make them compete a lot with the rest of the world.

What is more, someone can get obsessive to after chase their dream and thus might end up being workaholic. As a result, they neglect and ignore their family. They have no time  to spend with their family especially their children as all  are taken up to fulfil their dream. Consequently, their kids might feel alienated and get involved in other problems.

In addition, people in at higher position and live living in fortune are reported to live in much pressure than those who are not as they have more responsibility. For instance, running an international business have must consumed them a lot keep them occupied. They  are also having much complex issues and problems. Thus, does it make us successful to get involved in more problems and issues?

All in all, we should redefine  being successful, as it might put us in a lot of pressure. Successful  Success for me, simply means to be thankful for what we have now and live in bless with happy and caring family.

	Evaluation Report
Word count	281
Comments	An attempt to accomplish the task response is visible. However, the task response contains several inaccuracies pertaining to grammar and word choice. In addition, there are instances where sentences could have been written in a better way. Overall, the essay needs to be improved further.
Estimated Band Score	6.0 or 6.5
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