Since centuries ago, people emigrate in order to change their fate and look
for fortune. Nowadays, emigration is obliged[ allowed under certain rules and
regulations. Some content resent this restriction and advocate to open
way opening ways for
everyone to immigrate in to anywhere they like.
I strongly hold feel contrary to this idea, as I believe open emigration
brings more harm than good. To begin with, existing migrants are reported to
increase vast employment competition in many regions. Due to cheap labor cost offers by migrants, many
companies prefer to employ these migrants than the locals. As a result, the
unemployment rate among the locals is reported to get higher than it was before
especially after the mass immigration of the migrants.
On the other hand, mass immigration have caused over population
in the host countries. Subsequently, not only the migrants but even the locals
become homeless and end up living in on the street. The migrant welfare are is fairly unknown as there is no record pertaining to their immigration. They have come for fortune, but
pathetically they found find themselves
trapped in other countries and lived in live
a more difficult, tough and harsh life.
What is more, many of the migrants are reported to get
involved in wide rages ranges of crimes as they are reported
to get part in such as robbery, rape, prostitution and
even murder. Many of them also are widely exploited for human trades and other potential crimes. Their present puts more threat
and causes more trouble to the society.
All in all, many of the migrants have succeeded in their journey and brought a lot of fortune not only for
themselves but to the host countries. Though, many others did not make it
through, this is truly the case for most of the illegal migrants which suggests
that without restriction on emigration, the consequences are
unbearables can be unbearable.
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Evaluation
Report
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Word count
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296
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Comments
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The ideas are presented coherently; it
is evident that the writer progresses from one idea to another. The
paragraphing is fine. However, many spelling and grammatical errors are visible. Overall, the task response can be improved
further.
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Estimated Band Score
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6.0 or 6.5
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Suggestions
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1. Revise
grammar and improve sentence structures.
2. Be
careful of spelling mistakes.
3. Use
synonyms to avoid repetition.
4. Avoid
writing more than 280 words. This will help in saving time and reducing
mistakes.
5. Write
at least 250 words to avoid being penalized.
6. Always
proofread the task response after finishing it.
7. Keep
practicing to improve your performance.
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