Friday, 11 March 2016

losing our traditions, IELTS TASK 2, band 6.5/7

The advent of technology has revolutionized many aspects of our life not least including our traditions. Many people believe that we are losing our traditions to technology. Contrarily On the contrary, I believe that with the right approach, technology can be used to for retaining our traditions.

There are a lot of traditions that long have been forgotten including in our traditional cuisine, costumes, crafts and values. I believe that younger generations seem to ignore these traditions because they are not well introduced with these values. Thus, by using the internet for instance these values can be reintroduced and be promoted religiously on a large scale. New generations can learn effectively about our tradition if more information about them are is published online. More afford efforts should be carried out to trace wherever the local tradition is still being practiced and present them out to the world via this technology by uploading pictures, blogs, videos etc. on websites such as the Youtube, Facebook, Twitter etc.

Besides that, we can also use technology to enhance our traditional products. For instance, with the aid of technology certain traditional costumes, crafts, cuisines can be massively produced. These traditional items can be recreated and reproduced with modern sophisticated machines with simply efficiently and with a minimum of fuss. This will attract more people to learn and love traditional stuffs.

Moreover, by incorporating traditional values with technology we can enhance our creativity as varieties of new products can then be produced. For example, many new fashion designs are integrated with traditional values like in Malaysia, fashion designers use ‘batik’, a traditional malay cloth in their design. This is somehow a way of retaining tradition in modern style.
By and large, I believe that traditional values will still be appreciated if we can use technology to take them to another level.



            Evaluation Report
Word count
275
Comments
All the parts of the task have been covered. The ideas are presented coherently. Paragraphing of the essay is fine. The range of vocabulary is adequate for the requirements of the task response. There are a few errors in word choice and grammar but overall, the response is still easy enough to understand.
Estimated Band Score
 6.5 or 7.0
 Suggestions
1.      Revise grammar and improve sentence structures.
2.      Learn more vocabulary and improve choice of words.
3.      Always proofread the task response after finishing it.

obesity among children, IELTS TASK 2, band 6.5

The rise in obesity among children is getting worse year by year. Some people believe that government is responsible for this matter, while many blame it on parents. I believe that parents should play a major role in preventing their children from getting overweight.

Looking at modern parenting style these days explains much quite well why this is happening. Children these days are allowed to consume too much much more fast food than we did in the past. Fast food offers contains a lot of sugar, preservatives, chemical based flavors, fat and other harmful ingredients that are very hard to be digested which in turns are and get stored as fat.  Thus, parents should be more conscious of what they feed their children with, and should also encourage them to take on a balanced diet even when they are away from home. 

What is more, due to an ever-busier lifestyle, parents have less time to spend with their children. As a result, children are introduced to playing gadget electronic gadgets to occupy them, even babies and toddlers are not excluded. Consequently, these little fellows tend to sit whole days staring at their gadgets with less without physical and outdoor activities. An even more insidious threat trend is that they tend to take consume junk food while playing with their devices.
Government The government on the other hand has less power to control what these children eat and to encourage them to play and exercise. The least government it can do is to organize a healthy lifestyle campaign which can only be succeeded with parents’ support.

All in all, there areis  nothing much that government can do to encourage children to live healthily. It is all up to parents how to educate their children to be healthier persons.




            Evaluation Report
Word count
273
Comments
All the parts of the task have been covered. The ideas are presented coherently. Paragraphing of the essay is fine. The range of vocabulary is adequate for the requirements of the task response. There are a few errors in word choice and grammar but overall, the response is still easy enough to understand.
Estimated Band Score
6.5
 Suggestions
1.      Revise grammar and improve sentence structures.
2.      Learn more vocabulary and improve choice of words.
3.      Always proofread the task response after finishing it.
4.      Keep practicing to improve your performance.

Thursday, 10 March 2016

contract employment, IELTS TASK 2, band 6.5

It is really hard to find a permanent job these days that and many have no choice but to work on a short-term contract. I believe that the disadvantages of contract employment outweigh its advantages

Although so, it cannot be denied that contract employment does have some benefits for individuals in the case. The fact that the job is expected to end after a temporary period gives the individuals some freedom in life. Some people are keen to work for a year, save some money and go travel for another the next year. Some contract jobs offer huge payouts enabling people with such passion to live as a traveler and sign the deal readily.

However, this leads to a sense of being lived “here and now’ a nomad rather than to building a stable future. Signing a contract one after another means that they always have regularly spend a lot of time to look for a new job. There is no guarantee that they will continuously have a next job find new jobs, thus for sometimes occasionally in between they are jobless and that may make one depressed and lose self-confidence. Due to feeling of insecurity about incomes, some people cannot holding get loans to owning properties like houses and cars, which are very important for their future. However, some have no choice but to get loans to own car for example, which can be very burdening once they are out of jobs.

By and large, permanent jobs help individuals to plan and build for a stable future. Contract employment on the opposite makes people have a hard time to decide for their next move, which makes it difficult to plan for better future.



            Evaluation Report
Word count
269
Comments
All the parts of the task have been covered relevantly. The ideas are presented coherently at most places. Paragraphing of the essay is fine. The range of vocabulary is sufficient. However, errors related to grammar and word choice are distracting at times. Overall, the essay meets the approval.

Estimated Band Score
6.5
 Suggestions
1.      Revise grammar and improve sentence structures.
2.      Learn more vocabulary and improve choice of words.
3.      Always proofread the task response after finishing it.
4.      Keep practicing to improve your performance.

free internet access, IELTS TASK 2, Band 6.5

The internet has become vital to everyone in this world, though, some believe that free internet access should not be allowed and instead they require advise a subscription fee for the access just like any other services.

Personally, I believe that free internet access should be given worldwide so that everyone can enjoy its great advantages. Restricting internet access means that only those who are affluent can afford the subscription and deny thousands of opportunities to those who are not. For instance, we need the internet to look and apply for jobs, scholarships and places in higher education and most important to raise funds for those who need. Given that, then those who cannot afford the internet subscription could would not have the chance to compete with the rest of the world.

Moreover, providing internet access to everyone also means that everyone has the chance to grasp all the knowledge and information offer available on the internet. This contributes to greater education, encouraging intellectual development and creativity of individuals.  For instance, many talented individuals are recognized through the internet as they publish their works online and if they are lucky good enough the works get viral, encouraging more people to follow the suit.This is virtually a free exercise so anyone from any corner of the world can showcase his prowess

However, unlimited access to the internet also has a major drawbacks on social development. Although we can learn many thing on the internet but it also comes with great negative influences. If minors for instance surf the internet without supervision, they might accidently explore on violent and porn websites. Consequently, these fine minds turns could turn into vicious and problematic individuals.

By and large, I believe that free internet access gives equal chance for to everyone to compete in this modern world. Tthough, unlimited internet access may influence young minds to be troublemakers, producing ruined generations but this can be minimized through parental supervision.



            Evaluation Report
Word count
290
Comments
All the parts of the task have been covered. The ideas are presented coherently.  Paragraphing of the essay is fine. The range of vocabulary is good. Even though there are many errors in grammar and sentence structures, they don’t make the meaning much harder to understand. However, some ideas can be developed further. Overall, the essay can be further improved.
Estimated Band Score
6.5
 Suggestions
1.      Revise grammar and improve sentence structures.
2.      Learn more vocabulary and improve choice of words.
3.      Read sample essays from our website.
4.      Avoid writing more than 280 words. This will help in saving time and reducing mistakes.
5.      Always proofread the task response after finishing it.
6.      Keep practicing to improve your performance.

electricity generation, IELTS TASK 2, band 7.5

The pie charts illustrate the electricity production in Germany and France in 2009. Generally, both countries saw varied electricity sources in all types including in their the renewable resources.

Looking at all types of power generations, it shows that France had Nuclear as its highest proportion in electricity generation, its figure dominated the chart at 76%, leaving only 10.3% for nuclear conventional thermal   and 13.7 for renewables. Germany on the other hand, had conventional thermal as its highest electricity resource, the figure dominated about 60% of the chart. This is followed by the figure for Nuclear at 23% and renewables at 17.4%.

For France, its renewable resources were occupied by four types of production with its highest proportion was occupied by hydroelectricity at 80.59%. The figure for wind and biomass made up 20% of the chart and less than 1% on by solar and geothermal productions.

Germany, on the opposite had more even spread in its renewable energy. The figure for biomass and wind made up 40% of the chart, while 17.7% and 6.1% of the production were generated by hydroelectric and solar respectively. There was no record on of geothermal production



            Evaluation Report
Word count
186
Comments
All the requirements of the task have been covered fairly well. The key features have been identified and illustrated in a logical way. The paragraphing has been handled appropriately. Overall, the control of grammar and punctuation is good, with only a few errors made.
Estimated Band Score
7.5
 Suggestions
1.      Keep practicing in the same manner.
2.      Always proofread the task response after finishing it.

internet users and percentage of penetration, IELTS task 1, band 7





The table and bar chart illustrate information about internet users worldwide in the year 2000 and 2010. Overall, it shows that the number of internet users has had remarkably increased in most of the places but the percentage of penetration was only found higher in certain regions.

Looking at the bar chart, the highest percentage of penetration was experienced by three regions which were in North America (about 75%), Oceania and Australia (60%) and Europe (about 58%). While, the rest of the places recorded less than 40% of internet penetration, with Africa the least at 10%..

The table indicates the number of internet users in millions (m). The highest number of users in both years were was marked in Asia (114m to 825m), Europe (105m to 475 m) and North America (108m to 266m). Even though some places noted lower number of users but the growth was remarkable. For instance, the figure for Africa and Middle East noted a 20 times increase from 5m and 3m in 2000 to 110m and 63m in 2010 respectively. However, the figure for Oceania/ Australia noted only a 3 times increment from 7 m to 21 m and Latin America had a slight increase from 18m to 20m respectively..




            Evaluation Report
Word count
196
Comments
All the requirements of the task have been covered fairly well. The key features have been identified and illustrated in a logical way. The paragraphing has been handled appropriately. Overall, the control of grammar and punctuation is good, with only a few errors made.
Estimated Band Score
 7.0
 Suggestions
1.      Pay a little more attention to grammar.
2.      Always proofread the task response after finishing it.
3.      Keep practicing to improve your performance.

land degradation IELTS TASK 1


The pie chart and the table illustrate illustrates the  causes of land degradation in 1990s by globally and the table shows the proportions of land degradation regionally in the 1990s.. Overall, it shows that  there were are three main factors of land degradation which were are over-grazing, over-cultivation and deforestation.

Globally, about 90% of land degradation was is caused by these three main factors. The highest proportion of land degradation was is caused by over-grazing at 35%, followed by deforestation at 30% and over-cultivation at 28%. The other factors on the other hand, contributed only about 7% of the total degradation.

The table indicates causes of land degradation in three regions in the 1990s.. The highest total degradation was recorded by Europe (23%), followed by Oceania (13%) and the least total degradation was marked in North America (5%).

Compared to other regions, Europe had the highest land degradation caused by deforestation at 9.8% and over-cultivation and over-grazing at 7.7% and 5.5% respectively. While, Oceania had the highest percentage of land degraded by over-grazing at 11.3%, followed by deforestation at 1.7%, however, there was no impact of over-cultivation in Oceania.. North America on the other hand, recorded lowest percentage 3.3%, 1.5% and 0.2% of land degradation in all the causes listed. due to over-cultivation, over-grazing and deforestation respectively.




            Evaluation Report
Word count
166
Comments
The overview in this report contains appropriately chosen information. The key features have been identified and illustrated but some of the details are missing. Paragraphing of the report is fine. However, there are some mistakes related to grammar and sentence structures. Overall, the report can be improved further.
Estimated Band Score
 6.0
 Suggestions
1.      Pay more attention to grammar and improve sentence structures.
2.      Observe the graph carefully and respond accordingly.
3.      Always proofread the task response after finishing it.
4.      Keep practicing to improve your performance.

Wednesday, 9 March 2016

Finding a new suppliers, IELTS TASK 1, band 7.5

The diagram shows a process of searching for new suppliers. Generally, the suppliers are asked for quotation of their products and the company decides based on the suppliers’ offers.

The process starts when a the managing director requires reducing cost of certain supplies. The purchasing department then makes up new detail requirements of the supplies. Then the requirement is sent to a range of potential suppliers including the previous suppliers, and they are asked for quotation of their supplies and informed that they are competing with each other for the contract.

Once the company receives the quotation from the suppliers, the purchasing department decides a shortlist of the best suppliers. The department than thencontact the shortlisted suppliers for confirmation of their offers. Then they held meetings to further discuss the agreement.

Finally, the company decides the best suppliers which who best suits their requirement. Once all the details are agreed, a new contract(s) is then signed by both parties.




            Evaluation Report
Word count
156
Comments
All the requirements of the task have been covered fairly well. The key features have been identified and illustrated in a logical way. The paragraphing has been handled appropriately. Overall, the control of grammar and punctuation is good.
Estimated Band Score
7.5
 Suggestions
1.      Keep practicing in the same manner.
2.      Always proofread the task response after finishing it.
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