Friday 4 March 2016

Bad News, IELTS TASK 2, Band 6.5 or 7

The advent of technology has allowed us to reach the other parts of the world easily, including grasping the latest news right almost instantly. Some people believe the abundance of bad news seems imbalanced and gives diversion a distorted view of the real world and this may have a poor effect on the society.

I believe that those bad news that have been the bad news needs to be  delivered to give real pictures of what have really happened and are not entirely fake. I also believe these horrible news are good for the society as people can learn some lessons from what have happened happens.

First of all, given reading about those terrible events that have been reported, people may start to gain awareness, making them realize that the world is not as beautiful as they have perceived. Such awareness will drive a parent to be more motivated to educate their family so that they would not get involved in any of those troubles reported. Parents will be aware that they are growing rearing their children in a cruel world with a lot of negative influences. Thus, responsibly a parent will nourish their kids with love and attention hoping that their kids will grow as a better generation for the future.

Moreover, with such news, the governments, non-governments and other organizations will also notice the problems and issues that are happening and need to be addressed. This will trigger responsible bodies to take an action to tackle those issues. Without highlighting the real troubles, everyone will still think that everything is perfectly fine and no one will do anything to prevent the crimes or to address the issues.

By and large, I believe that the bad news make everyone aware of troubles around them and thus being make them more responsible towards their surroundings.



            Evaluation Report
Word count
289
Comments
All the parts of the task have been covered. The ideas are presented coherently. Paragraphing of the essay is fine. The range of vocabulary is adequate for the requirements of the task response. There are a few errors in word choice and grammar but overall, the response is still easy enough to understand.
Estimated Band Score
 6.5 or 7.0
 Suggestions
1.      Revise grammar and improve sentence structures.
2.      Learn more vocabulary and improve choice of words.
3.      Always proofread the task response after finishing it.
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